Thursday, August 4, 2011
my fashion voice
for sometime now i have been thinking, does anyone really hear me, or am i so inaudible that no ones seems to notice that i exist? i like to think that i have grown into my own, been able to roll up my style into one single word "classy". i roamed the streets of fashion from the soft looks of the eightys to the rock hard look of the tewnty first century and i have pulled out a medley of sorts, i have fashioned my voice from these fashions and i truly hope you like my fashion song. my fashion song is easy to listen to, my fashion voice is classy and simple, it hugs the female form yet drapes over her ever so slightly, my fashion voice seeks to make beautiful, its comfortable and easy on the eyes. do you really hear my fashion voice? its in the way i walk, the way i talk, the way i clutch unto my bag, the way i tuck my shirt into my pants, my fashion voice is personal, its mine, i created it, do you hear me? do you feel me? from my mane to my footwear, i sing a beautiful tale of a lady who has walked the streets of fashion and culled her style, a style to sculpt her form so perfectly. hear my fashion voice and maybe you may wish to sing along.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Who says hair aint part of fashion?
GOOD HAIR BAD HAIR, GOOD HAIR BAD HAIR…GOOD HAIR BAD HAIR!
I have always been particular about hair, as a child I obsessed about hair I loved hair so much that I used to imagine myself with long wavy hair and in my descriptions of myself I would say tall dark with jet black hair! I still love hair which is why I get the jitters any time I go to the saloon, I never go to the saloon on a whim nope I am not that spontaneous when it comes to getting my hair done, I like to take my time use several days to think about what saloon to go to, what style to make and how much to budget for the hair.
Most of the time I decide a week before that I would need a new style, sometimes I am pressed for cash so I stretch the hair a bit longer. Once I have made up my mind to fix a new style I begin to obsess about how I would look on it, I try on the style in my mind’s eye and conclude that it will be the best for me.
So you can imagine how upsetting it is when you find yourself in a bad saloon, bad in this context means “no ventilation, little space, and of course unprofessional stylists”. Weeks before I went to this “bad” saloon, I had fantasized about a short hairstyle I glimpsed in “Glamour” magazine and I was eager to look glamorous!
After work on Friday I took off the old “hair” and packed my (new hair howbeit it undone) into my weekend bag and left for the country home (my father’s house) on Saturday afternoon. The weekend was fun and on my return on Sunday afternoon I was making mental notes, should I do a shoulder length style instead or maybe something with bangs? It was a serious battle and no style won!
When I alighted at my stop I called my hairdresser for short, snazzy, fab styles and…he was not available to attend to me that day, he said “tomorrow, tomorrow” “I can’t make my hair tomorrow silly” I thought I have to be at work. I considered my other options I was already having a tingly uncomfortable feeling, that feeling I feel when I know am going to (almost) have a bad day.
I boarded a tricycle to my next stop and determined to have a new hairstyle proceeded to a, you guessed right “bad” saloon, I’ll tell you something about this saloon I had made a passably nice hair style there once so I was really hoping I would meet the stylist. My entry into the saloon was greeted by eight eyeballs I could read their minds immediately they thought I was loaded with cash. The fluorescent light was blinking off and on with a wary eye on it and around the saloon I noted that the madam was out.
I was ready to take flight and abandon the new hair for another week when the customer said they would make the hair well not convinced but hoping to believe along the way ,I said I wanted to wash and fix my hair. One of the pairs of eyes moved and got me a towel and proceeded to scrub my scalp to the point of tears!
After the “hair scrub” I was led to a chair in the middle of the cramped saloon, meanwhile the light was still blinking, the clock ticked towards six pm and I didn’t have any intentions of sitting outside to make my hair, I advised them to do something about the light it must have been something in my voice because they quickly obliged later I wondered what they would have done if I hadn’t spoken, of course at this point all thoughts of short snazzy sexy hair had flown out of my mind’s window!
The unprofessional stylist took my hair into her hands and tortured it under the humming hand dryer, I was very patient no complaints at all. Did I add that language was a barrier? It was. I tried my very best to explain to my stylist what simple style I was condemned to fixing, she finally got the hang of it and for some minutes we were both happy. After my hair had been matted I brought out the weave on and she threaded some needles. It was a balanced relationship.
It was therefore very startling indeed when I saw her sewing the weave on to the front of my hair I barked at her at once “what? What are you trying to do? At least in all my years of hair fixing I have never for once seen the weave on being attached from the front, you start at the back and work your way up. She said to me “aunty, wait! I said wait? Ok I am waiting. She sewed it from the front to the back on one straight line and tried to brush my hair on top of it. I was scandalized! I said to her “I cannot allow you to make my hair like that loosen it, loosen it! (I have this habit of repeating words when I am angry).
She quickly did as she was told, I advised her to start from the back and take it slowly she dared not disobey at this point I was ready to lash out with both my tongue and my hand.
With a grim menacing look, I watched her as she sewed on the weave on, nothing eventful happened afterwards.
At the end of my day I concluded that I had had a bad hair day even though the unprofessional stylist’s last words to me were “aunty, its fine”!
I have always been particular about hair, as a child I obsessed about hair I loved hair so much that I used to imagine myself with long wavy hair and in my descriptions of myself I would say tall dark with jet black hair! I still love hair which is why I get the jitters any time I go to the saloon, I never go to the saloon on a whim nope I am not that spontaneous when it comes to getting my hair done, I like to take my time use several days to think about what saloon to go to, what style to make and how much to budget for the hair.
Most of the time I decide a week before that I would need a new style, sometimes I am pressed for cash so I stretch the hair a bit longer. Once I have made up my mind to fix a new style I begin to obsess about how I would look on it, I try on the style in my mind’s eye and conclude that it will be the best for me.
So you can imagine how upsetting it is when you find yourself in a bad saloon, bad in this context means “no ventilation, little space, and of course unprofessional stylists”. Weeks before I went to this “bad” saloon, I had fantasized about a short hairstyle I glimpsed in “Glamour” magazine and I was eager to look glamorous!
After work on Friday I took off the old “hair” and packed my (new hair howbeit it undone) into my weekend bag and left for the country home (my father’s house) on Saturday afternoon. The weekend was fun and on my return on Sunday afternoon I was making mental notes, should I do a shoulder length style instead or maybe something with bangs? It was a serious battle and no style won!
When I alighted at my stop I called my hairdresser for short, snazzy, fab styles and…he was not available to attend to me that day, he said “tomorrow, tomorrow” “I can’t make my hair tomorrow silly” I thought I have to be at work. I considered my other options I was already having a tingly uncomfortable feeling, that feeling I feel when I know am going to (almost) have a bad day.
I boarded a tricycle to my next stop and determined to have a new hairstyle proceeded to a, you guessed right “bad” saloon, I’ll tell you something about this saloon I had made a passably nice hair style there once so I was really hoping I would meet the stylist. My entry into the saloon was greeted by eight eyeballs I could read their minds immediately they thought I was loaded with cash. The fluorescent light was blinking off and on with a wary eye on it and around the saloon I noted that the madam was out.
I was ready to take flight and abandon the new hair for another week when the customer said they would make the hair well not convinced but hoping to believe along the way ,I said I wanted to wash and fix my hair. One of the pairs of eyes moved and got me a towel and proceeded to scrub my scalp to the point of tears!
After the “hair scrub” I was led to a chair in the middle of the cramped saloon, meanwhile the light was still blinking, the clock ticked towards six pm and I didn’t have any intentions of sitting outside to make my hair, I advised them to do something about the light it must have been something in my voice because they quickly obliged later I wondered what they would have done if I hadn’t spoken, of course at this point all thoughts of short snazzy sexy hair had flown out of my mind’s window!
The unprofessional stylist took my hair into her hands and tortured it under the humming hand dryer, I was very patient no complaints at all. Did I add that language was a barrier? It was. I tried my very best to explain to my stylist what simple style I was condemned to fixing, she finally got the hang of it and for some minutes we were both happy. After my hair had been matted I brought out the weave on and she threaded some needles. It was a balanced relationship.
It was therefore very startling indeed when I saw her sewing the weave on to the front of my hair I barked at her at once “what? What are you trying to do? At least in all my years of hair fixing I have never for once seen the weave on being attached from the front, you start at the back and work your way up. She said to me “aunty, wait! I said wait? Ok I am waiting. She sewed it from the front to the back on one straight line and tried to brush my hair on top of it. I was scandalized! I said to her “I cannot allow you to make my hair like that loosen it, loosen it! (I have this habit of repeating words when I am angry).
She quickly did as she was told, I advised her to start from the back and take it slowly she dared not disobey at this point I was ready to lash out with both my tongue and my hand.
With a grim menacing look, I watched her as she sewed on the weave on, nothing eventful happened afterwards.
At the end of my day I concluded that I had had a bad hair day even though the unprofessional stylist’s last words to me were “aunty, its fine”!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
fabulous fat vs sexy slim
i like to think that i have one of the best shapes around, the reason is not so far fetched. if i were to apply for Miss Nigeria my statistics would read 34-28-42! throw ina pair of endless long legs and the most beautiful chocolate skin, and you have me described. so you can imagine my disamy and disbelief when out of no where i began to drop in weight, my hips disappeared, my waist became even tinier and my twins, well lets just say padded bras had to come back in.
i began to envy the fat and proud around me, there was a particular lady who i obsessed after, she was fair and pretty, she had hips and boobs ...ok she had a tummy but thats beside the point, she was fabulously fat and i was green with envy. she would appear in anything and she would look well put together while yours truly was going around in clothes hanging off bones.
i began to fantasize about getting fat, i piled up on the calories and found every opportunity to snooze after four weeksi noticed i was filling out nicely the hips were getting rounder and the twins were getting back to shape..alas the tummy began to bulge as well!
now my cheeks have blown out, i am not fat but it sure feels like it, this is not what i want i tell myself as i stand in front of my full lenght mirror I WANT MY SEXY SLIM BACK! fat may look fabulous on others but on me...it simply sucks!
what was i thinking? Every one to his own, i'll stick to my statistics and be content with what i have got, now before you begin to wonder what this has to do with fashion....it doesnt!
i began to envy the fat and proud around me, there was a particular lady who i obsessed after, she was fair and pretty, she had hips and boobs ...ok she had a tummy but thats beside the point, she was fabulously fat and i was green with envy. she would appear in anything and she would look well put together while yours truly was going around in clothes hanging off bones.
i began to fantasize about getting fat, i piled up on the calories and found every opportunity to snooze after four weeksi noticed i was filling out nicely the hips were getting rounder and the twins were getting back to shape..alas the tummy began to bulge as well!
now my cheeks have blown out, i am not fat but it sure feels like it, this is not what i want i tell myself as i stand in front of my full lenght mirror I WANT MY SEXY SLIM BACK! fat may look fabulous on others but on me...it simply sucks!
what was i thinking? Every one to his own, i'll stick to my statistics and be content with what i have got, now before you begin to wonder what this has to do with fashion....it doesnt!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Better on the mannequin........
This is a protest. A war. A plea. A shout, to any one who cares to listen.....i am tired of being decieved! Why? Am i the only one who loves good clothes? i walk into a shop and a most exquisite looking silk blouse with silver buttons is on display, gayly worn by a blonde mannequin, my whole body turns automatically towards this delicate piece of fine clothing, only to discover that its not my size! B..b..but it looked like a perfect ten i protest as the sales man snatches it from my hands with apparent glee( he's probably thinking,see this does not come in your size). What better size can a lady be? Am supposed to find my size everywhere, in every shade of color, in every piece of clothin......jeans, pants, shirts, skirts, leggings! I am a size ten! So why, oh why do you decieve me so, elegant mannequin from another planet? Why have you chosen to mock me? Why must everything look good on you oh mannequin? so perfect, so trim and so damn beautiful!
Everything looks good on you mannequin, better on you than on me. Why must the boutiques, the shops, the open markets decieve me so? Pinning up the clothes on the mannequin to attract me.
If only you would put on size ten clothing, oh mannequin, then i will give you a pat on the back for giving me a glimpse of how gorgeous i would look in that little black dress you wear so well.
I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin, surely that is not too much to ask, i may not be a mannequin but i am a very very beautiful size ten, or is that such a bad thing?
Everything looks good on you mannequin, better on you than on me. Why must the boutiques, the shops, the open markets decieve me so? Pinning up the clothes on the mannequin to attract me.
If only you would put on size ten clothing, oh mannequin, then i will give you a pat on the back for giving me a glimpse of how gorgeous i would look in that little black dress you wear so well.
I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin, surely that is not too much to ask, i may not be a mannequin but i am a very very beautiful size ten, or is that such a bad thing?
Thursday, July 29, 2010
fashion who are you?
Fashion, i dont know who you are or where you sprouted from but i know you have gone too far this time, fashion did you really have to make the skirts shorter? or the jeans tighter? and what were you thinking when you decided to take the sleeves off the blouses? and plunge the necks of our tops?
Fashion do you really think what you are doing is discreet? oh so you dont know that the bands you took off from the jeans only made the ladies sexier, fashion i really expected more from you, i mean leggings? now what is that about, an excuse for the ladies to come out nude in sheer form fitting material.
Iknow what you are going to say fashion, that the ladies dont know how to wear your creations right. thats not an excuse fashion, after making such wonderful clothing in the 20th century did you get tired of having the ladies cover it all up?
I dont know you fashion, and i dont know when you happened but i do know i want more of you.....only, i will not take what you give me i will take from it and mould it for me.
Fashion, don't ever leave but please be sane.
Fashion do you really think what you are doing is discreet? oh so you dont know that the bands you took off from the jeans only made the ladies sexier, fashion i really expected more from you, i mean leggings? now what is that about, an excuse for the ladies to come out nude in sheer form fitting material.
Iknow what you are going to say fashion, that the ladies dont know how to wear your creations right. thats not an excuse fashion, after making such wonderful clothing in the 20th century did you get tired of having the ladies cover it all up?
I dont know you fashion, and i dont know when you happened but i do know i want more of you.....only, i will not take what you give me i will take from it and mould it for me.
Fashion, don't ever leave but please be sane.
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